TRIBUTE TO MY FATHER

THE FOLLOWING IS A TRIBUTE I WROTE TO MY DAD FOR HIS FUNERAL LAST AUGUST. HE HAD BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH PANCREATIC CANCER IN EARLY MAY, AND CHEMOTHERAPY COULD NOT STOP THE RAPID PROGRESSION. THIS IS MY FIRST FATHER'S DAY WITHOUT HIM, AND HE IS SORELY MISSED.
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THE BEST MAN I HAVE EVER KNOWN

We have each known men who set the example for us all, men of fine character whose actions are beyond question. These good men display a higher moral standard through their deeds and in the manner they live their lives. They reflect the most basic of American values in all they do: honesty, hard work, commitment to family, and a willingness to sacrifice for others. Unfortunately, many times these men are far removed from those who look up to them. Athletes, film stars, or other celebrities partially fill the role for those without someone closer to emulate. I was blessed with a father who was always the only hero I ever needed, and I wanted to share a few thoughts and stories about Dad that demonstrate that.

I cannot imagine anyone more honest than Dad. He let you know the facts of any situation right up front, unvarnished and without any sugary coating. I always knew right away if he disapproved of my actions or thought I was misbehaving. He rarely raised his voice in anger, but no one had any doubts about where he stood. Dad never pulled a punch, even if it was about his own health. I vividly remember his bluntness in telling me his reaction to the onset of the macular degeneration that would eventually steal most of his sight. He said, “Rob, I sat down and cried about it, but then after that, what can you do? I have to go on.” He never was one to bemoan his situation, blame others, or whine about his problems.

My father’s devotion to his family was total. Any man willing to adopt a son and daughter and love them as his own is indeed extraordinary. He worked long hours at an extremely physical job just to provide for us. Dad always made sure I had whatever I needed to be like the other kids. I learned as an adult that he had been teased as a child at school in rural Virginia for his hand me down clothing and lack of shoes, and he didn’t want that for his own children. I think that’s why he would put on his shoes immediately in the morning and keep them on all day even if he didn’t plan to leave the house. Dad sacrificed countless times to buy me that new expensive pair of tennis shoes or winter jacket I simply had to have to be cool like the other kids. All the while he was going without the tools that might have made his work easier and eating bologna or spam sandwiches for lunch at work for weeks on end. I will always remember the roughness of his hands, and my amazement at how the calluses on his palm matched the grip of a hammer. When we were little he would often bring us candy when he returned from a long day of work. I can remember Mom being upset with him for sneaking us Mallowcups before dinner. Dad never owned fine cars or fancy clothes for himself, and I don’t think he ever desired them. He was happy just to make sure we had whatever we needed or wanted, no matter how silly or frivolous.

He spent the last years of his life caring for Louise as Alzheimer’s slowly took her away from him. He first tended to her every need at home while he was mostly blind, and then never missed a daily visit to feed and care for her once her condition worsened. His grandchildren were very special to Dad, and I’ll never forget the look of joy on his face the first time I handed Andy over to him to hold. Andy learned early on that “Papa” was the man to see if he needed something for school or money for a new toy or video game.

Dad raised me with a sense of obligation to country. His oldest brother Oscar was killed in the Battle of the Bulge, and his own duty to our nation had been honorably fulfilled in the combat of the Korean War. His advice to me prior to leaving for basic training was the best I ever received. He simply said, “Keep your mouth closed, listen to your sergeants, and always follow orders.” His reaction to first seeing me in Army uniform was simple and priceless. He put his arm around my shoulder and with a tear in his eye said, “You’re a soldier now. You’re a man.” He was letting me know I had fulfilled his expectation of national service. Dad didn’t care much for politicians, but he loved America and firmly believed in young men serving in our military.

Even the way Dad used the phone told you something about him. No matter how big or distant the national chain he might be calling, Dad would always start with, “This is Gene Mullins out in Grove City,” as if they should recognize him instantly. It was simply his way of letting them know that he was a man of honor, proud of who and what he was, and that he was ready to deal with others in a straight forward manner.

Dad’s counsel is what I’ll miss most. He had a wealth of knowledge on all subjects relevant to everyday living. So many times in my life I went to Dad and got just the right answer to a problem that had seemed unsolvable to me. His most famous advice was about keeping the oil changed in cars. Dad would launch into a five minute speech about the importance of oil changes every time he got the chance. Sometimes I would mention the subject around others just to get him going. Invariably the phrase “oil is the lifeblood of an engine” would be used repeatedly. Dad knew a little maintenance now could save a big problem later. He will be sorely missed whenever I need to rely on some real world experience.

Dad and I shared a love of professional football from early in my childhood. Sundays were for watching the NFL together. We teased each other relentlessly during the season. Dad was a die-hard Bengals fan, and like everything else he did, he stayed loyal to them until the end. I became a Steelers fan, probably disappointing him a little. Even though that rivalry gave us many jokes to crack on each other over the years, it was never mean spirited or nasty. We both enjoyed following the league like a soap opera for men, and football was always a main subject for our discussions. It was our way of connecting to the past and to each other. Dad passed on his vast knowledge and deep appreciation of the game to me, and I will carry it with me forever.

Simply put, Dad was the best man I have ever known. He is the standard by which I measure myself and others. Phrases like “salt of the earth” were invented to describe men like him. He was always ready to help others, even if they were strangers. He never shirked his responsibilities or made excuses. His family was his highest priority, and he never let us down, not even once.

I have lost my father, my best friend, and the only hero that ever really mattered to me. There can surely be no doubt we have all lost a good man.

We will all go on with our lives like he would want us to do, but it won’t be easy without him. Goodbye, Dad.
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FATHER'S DAY WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN, DAD, AND I MISS YOU EVERY DAY.

MIND YOUR MANNERS

Civilization requires we be civil to each other. A rapid decline of civility in America does not bode well for our future. I began thinking about this as a result of an incident at a local convenience store today. As I approached the entry door, I was preceded by two young men and an elderly woman using a cane. The two young men picked up their pace to get to the door before the lady. I assumed they would hold the door for her, but they did not. They allowed it to close without even a look back. I then took several quick steps to reach the door before the lady did so that I could hold the door for her. The look of surprise on her face was priceless and made my effort more than worth it. She said, “Thank you”, and I responded with a “Yes, Ma’am.” I was raised by a mother from Alabama who insisted on good manners at all times, especially toward women and senior citizens. She has been gone for many years, but her lessons were not lost on me. I still fear the brutal backhand that would land aside my head whenever I forgot my manners. The ugly truth is that ordinary, common etiquette has almost completely disappeared from our culture. I’m not talking about which fork to use for which course at dinner, but rather something more rudimentary. I’m referring to rules of civil society that indicate a respect for one another. We should all aspire as individuals and as parents to restore these norms to our society.

Allow me to explain. The basics are fairly simple: saying “please”, “thank you”, and referring to elders as “sir” or “ma’am” whenever appropriate, pulling out chairs for ladies or helping them with their coats or packages, and holding doors for women and the aged are all part of a bigger code of conduct. That code seeks to protect and respect the most vulnerable members of our society, and it is sadly lacking from our daily discourse. These are not tremendous acts of sacrifice nor do they require a monumental exertion. They are simply a set of behavioral standards that place a template on our actions that shows deference to other human beings. It may sound absurd to some, but they go a very long way towards easing the stresses of daily life. Any time one sees a lady or a senior in need of assistance, we should respond without hesitation, almost reflexively. Clearly I am referring to men and specifically young men in particular. Not too long ago I witnessed an older gentleman at a home improvement store struggling to load several large pieces of plywood. I was loading my truck at the time, and I watched several strapping young men walk by without helping. I stopped what I was doing to help, as I assume anyone with a modicum of concern would. The man actually tried to tip me, but I politely refused. I considered it my basic duty and the least I could do. I had never seen this man before, and I may never again, but I know that he will not soon forget. I cannot understand why these sorts of acts are rare now.

Young men have a responsibility to the other parts of our population whether they choose to accept it or not. It reflects very poorly on their upbringing should they not do so. Several times in the past I have grabbed the shoulder of my son and held him back when he attempted to go through an entrance ahead of others for which he should have waited. I have tried to pass along the manners taught to me by my mother because they indicate a basic regard for others. It’s bad enough that many fathers are completely absent, but it seems the ones who are present are failing to teach their young men proper conduct. Children are a reflection of their parents, and that reflection should include civility. We fail as parents and as a culture when we neglect that. It leads to greater and more concerning acts of callousness and disrespect.

Another incident this weekend confirmed my fears. I witnessed a funeral procession traveling along a major Columbus road. When I was a young man, it was customary for opposing traffic or nearby pedestrians to briefly stop while the procession passed. It is not legally required, but it is respect for the deceased and their family. We may not have known the individual, but we can acknowledge their passing simply by taking a few seconds to pause in reflection. Our lives go on afterward, unlike the deceased. When our culture has lost regard for even the dead, it is not a good omen. Of course, respect for life has been declining in America for many years, so maybe this is part of that, but that certainly in no way excuses it.

Politeness smoothes the daily interactions we have with one another. Next time you call a government agency or private company for assistance, start by thanking the individual by name for taking your call. You might be surprised how much more cooperative and helpful the individual will be. It’s amazing. Those of us who are parents should be even more attentive to the way we conduct ourselves. Our children watch and imitate every move we make and every transaction we have with others. Boorish manners and the insensitive treatment of others do not make things easier or faster. They simply indicate a disregard for others and a focus on one’s self.

THE DESTRUCTION OF THE MIDDLE CLASS

We all know these are difficult economic times. We assume an eventual rebound with all the usual features: gains in employment, increased construction and manufacturing, and a rising tide for everyone. This economic downturn has been decades in the making, and it will not be solved overnight or even anytime soon. President Obama has made increased employment claims that are dubious and perhaps completely fraudulent. His administration’s efforts to halt the slide have been at best completely ineffective and at worst have deepened and given the crisis a longer life. We are in a huge abyss, and it’s important to look at the factors that have created it.

Manufacturing in this country has reached an all time low. Sometimes it seems we don’t make anything in the U.S. anymore except for big, fat butts. Our cars, steel, electronics, and increasingly food, are obtained from foreign sources. One would be hard-pressed to find more than a handful of American products at your local retailer. Foreign manufacturers can produce these products cheaply because they do not have to worry about environmental restrictions, quality control, or even paying their workers a decent wage. I am 43 years old, and in my lifetime alone American manufacturing has been devastated, boxed up, and shipped overseas. The paint manufacturing company I left after eleven years now has less than twenty percent of the workers it did when I resigned. Rockwell is gone from the airport, and the GM facility on the west side of town closed years ago. Consumers, eager to get their hands on cheap goods, don’t concern themselves with country of origin or even quality. For them it’s all about price. This attitude, as well as many other misguided government policies, have brought desolation to the American middle class and helped to wreck our economic engine. The days when a young man or woman could graduate from high school, get a job working in a factory, comfortably raise a family, and retire after thirty years are gone. Even if by some miracle one did manage to do that, benefits or pensions would likely be cut or completely taken away after retirement. Our automobile industry would likely collapse without government intervention. There is serious doubt about whether or not the U.S. has the steel manufacturing capacity we would need in a major war of extended length. Those two industries alone were for many years the source of decent wages and other benefits for middle class Americans. Those opportunities are now gone.
The American construction industry is also at an all time low. The recession itself is partly to blame, but there are indeed other factors. Everything involved in it has become an industry itself. Government regulations detail and dominate every aspect no matter how small. Legal and illegal immigrants have largely forced natural born Americans out of the business by under bidding labor. This industry was also the source of good income and benefits for the middle class, and it too is nearly gone as an opportunity.

Trades have come under the control of either government or private business. Don’t think so? A list of occupations regulated by the Ohio Revised Code is demonstrative:

TITLE [47] XLVII OCCUPATIONS -- PROFESSIONS
CHAPTER 4701: ACCOUNTANCY BOARD LAW
CHAPTER 4703: ARCHITECTS
CHAPTER 4705: ATTORNEYS
CHAPTER 4707: AUCTIONEERS
CHAPTER 4709: BARBERS
CHAPTER 4710: DEBT POOLING COMPANIES
CHAPTER 4711: COMMISSION MERCHANTS
CHAPTER 4712: OHIO CREDIT SERVICES ORGANIZATION ACT
CHAPTER 4713: COSMETOLOGISTS
CHAPTER 4715: DENTISTS; DENTAL HYGIENISTS
CHAPTER 4717: EMBALMERS, FUNERAL DIRECTORS, CREMATORIES
CHAPTER 4719: TELEPHONE SOLICITORS
CHAPTER 4721: INNKEEPERS
CHAPTER 4723: NURSES
CHAPTER 4725: OPTOMETRISTS; DISPENSING OPTICIANS
CHAPTER 4727: PAWNBROKERS
CHAPTER 4728: PRECIOUS METALS DEALERS
CHAPTER 4729: PHARMACISTS; DANGEROUS DRUGS
CHAPTER 4730: PHYSICIAN ASSISTANTS
CHAPTER 4731: PHYSICIANS; LIMITED PRACTITIONERS
CHAPTER 4732: PSYCHOLOGISTS
CHAPTER 4733: PROFESSIONAL ENGINEERS AND PROFESSIONAL SURVEYORS
CHAPTER 4734: CHIROPRACTORS
CHAPTER 4735: REAL ESTATE BROKERS
CHAPTER 4736: SANITARIANS
CHAPTER 4737: SECONDHAND DEALERS; JUNK YARDS
CHAPTER 4738: MOTOR VEHICLE SALVAGE
CHAPTER 4740: CONSTRUCTION INDUSTRY LICENSING BOARD
CHAPTER 4741: VETERINARIANS
CHAPTER 4742: EMERGENCY SERVICE TELECOMMUNICATORS
CHAPTER 4747: HEARING AID DEALERS
CHAPTER 4749: PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS; SECURITY SERVICES
CHAPTER 4751: NURSING HOME ADMINISTRATORS
CHAPTER 4752: HOME MEDICAL SERVICES
CHAPTER 4753: SPEECH-LANGUAGE PATHOLOGISTS AND AUDIOLOGISTS
CHAPTER 4755: OCCUPATIONAL THERAPISTS; PHYSICAL THERAPISTS; ATHLETIC TRAINERS
CHAPTER 4757: COUNSELORS, SOCIAL WORKERS, MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPISTS
CHAPTER 4758: CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY PROFESSIONALS
CHAPTER 4759: DIETETICS
CHAPTER 4760: ANESTHESIOLOGIST ASSISTANTS
CHAPTER 4761: RESPIRATORY CARE
CHAPTER 4762: ACUPUNCTURISTS
CHAPTER 4763: REAL ESTATE APPRAISERS
CHAPTER 4771: ATHLETE AGENTS
CHAPTER 4773: RADIATION TECHNICIANS
CHAPTER 4774: RADIOLOGIST ASSISTANTS
CHAPTER 4775: MOTOR VEHICLE COLLISION REPAIR OPERATORS
CHAPTER 4779: ORTHOTISTS, PROSTHETISTS, PEDORTHISTS

Some of these are understandable, but most are not. The bulk require licensing one cannot obtain without experience, but experience cannot be obtained without the license or some sort of apprenticeship. The most outrageous example is the field of private investigation, and it demonstrates my point exactly (complete text here). The state first broadly defines the occupation to cover as many as possible, then sets restrictions that cannot be met by the average person. The next step is to configure the composition of the licensing board completely from industry insiders. Some of the requirements are understandable (no felonies, pass an exam, have insurance), but one in particular closes off the industry to almost everyone: two years experience in either investigation work, practicing law, or law enforcement or work for a public investigative agency are required. That makes the industry a clique run by a select few. Licensing and other requirements for some other occupations are similarly designed. It is the result of a government out of control to the point where it damages the people it serves. The Ohio Revised Code and the draconian restrictions contained therein effectively make the state anti-business. The intent may have been to regulate certain fields for safety or for the protection of consumers, but like every other good idea, it goes too far in the hands of the government. If only the ORC were used as a guide, it would seem clear that the state is trying to discourage business formation and the employment it could bring. Until and unless a sweeping reform of the code takes place, there is little hope for economic gains in Ohio. The state government simply will not allow individual citizens to conduct business without hampering the effort.

Wages for working people have fallen through the floor as a result of immigrant labor. Why pay an American twenty dollars an hour when you can pay an immigrant eight or ten? Given the price of housing, food, and other essentials, it is basically impossible for non-professional folks to survive in the current climate. The price tag on a new car is roughly equivalent to what our parents paid for a house. That sort of inflation over the last several decades has forced many to work more than one job, and many others into poverty. I see ads online everyday seeking someone to do a job that is physically demanding while offering paltry wages. Those ads are clearly directed at immigrants and the businesses or individuals placing them know it. Pay for CEOs is always on the rise, and it comes directly out of the wallets of those who serve the company in the most difficult and labor intensive positions. It is not the federal government but the business owners and shareholders that should demand limits on executive compensation. Exorbitant sums being paid to one individual at the top is both a bad business model and demoralizing to the rest of the workforce. Meanwhile, the working individual is having their wages reduced and benefits eliminated. It’s a recipe for disaster, and what we see now is only the beginning.

As if that all weren’t a bad enough scenario, add the high and fluctuating cost of energy, particularly gasoline. Those who work in the transportation field feel it, but so does the small business person. Here in Columbus we are now paying around $2.75 a gallon for regular gas. Just a few short months ago it averaged $1.50 a gallon. The price jump has nearly doubled the costs of transport for everything. It’s a factor in virtually every quarter of the economy, and the effects of an upward price change ripple throughout and hit everyone. The highly speculative oil market makes billionaires of a few and paupers of the rest.

All of these factors and many others combine to reduce the number of people in the middle class. Eventually we’ll all be either poor, rich, or work for the government. There isn’t going to be room for anything else. President Obama’s economic recovery measures will result only in higher deficits and increased inflation and will leave the next generation of Americans an even greater burden. Politicians and the media are oblivious to what is happening. If they don’t notice and take significant action soon, it may be too late.